Xan & Bob

Choosing to smile again

It has been a hard week. A sad week. Bob said to me yesterday that the only good thing that has happened this week is my EU passport arriving on Monday. Since then…not so much.

My dear Aunt Norma, my mother’s sister, passed away on Monday. We knew over the weekend that it was coming which brought back all kinds of memories of my Mom’s passing four years ago. I miss my Mom and Dad every day but it is times like this that bring back vivid memories that just cause the tears to flow. It is so difficult when a loved one is ill and you don’t want them to suffer anymore but that means we are left here without them. What I do know is that there is another amazing party happening in Heaven right now.

Leaving my cousins just a week and a half before they lost their mom is hard. I so wish I could have been there for them. I’m sure at times as they saw another WhatsApp message from me it may have felt like I was a stone in their shoe. wink wink

I was able to help out this week by contacting other family members. I never like to be the one to give bad news but I will tell you that I absolutely treasured the time that I spent speaking with family this week.

Beyond my personal family sadness there was the news of the violence in Charlottesville, VA, and the aftermath of that. What is going on back home in America is just sickening to me. I just don’t understand the madness. I woke up yesterday morning thinking about all of the hatred in the world these days. We went to the beach yesterday morning and I started reading “The Lilac Girls” which is based on a true story from WWII. It is a beautifully written book but of course adds to my thinking of all of the hatred which just makes me sadder.

I tried to cheer-up by watching the families and friends gathered on the beach. The children running around, splashing in the water, building sandcastles, giggling as they ran from the water through the sand and plopped down on beach towels. Not a care in the world. Exactly what summer is supposed to be about.

When we got home I was in a bit better mind frame to try to write a blog but I couldn’t decide what to write about. I was pondering various ideas as we did a few chores when I received a text from my sister Sandy saying that she hoped we were okay as she just heard there was a bad accident in Barcelona. I looked up the news on my phone to find out that a van had plowed into people on Las Ramblas. We quickly turned on the TV and found out that it was an act of terrorism. Another horrific act of hatred. It seems that the world has gone mad. More innocent lives shattered. None of the people wandering down Las Ramblas had personally done anything to any of the terrorists. They did not deserve this! No one does.

When I woke up this morning there was a message from my sister Vicky about another terrorist attack in Cambrils, and urging us to please be careful as we live in the area in between where the two attacks took place. To be clear we are not close to either one but they are still too close for comfort especially for my family who are thousands of miles away. Let’s be honest…we all know that they can strike anywhere.

Like I said it has been a sad week. I’m glad today is Friday. I have tried today to think of positive things. Happy thoughts. Happy memories. I don’t want to continue to be sad. I don’t want to live in fear. I don’t want the hatred to take over. I don’t want to live that way because to me…what kind of life would that be? What would be the point? We will be careful but we will not let them win.

Today we hugged friends. Today we honored the victims with a moment of silence. Today we went into Sitges and walked around the town. Today we continued to live our lives. And today…the harvest started here in Viladellops.

“Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.”

~ Connor Franta




8 thoughts on “Choosing to smile again”

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